Getting up at 5am to play poker isn’t much fun. Being $130k richer at 4pm is.

God bless high buy in monthly tournaments with satellites running 24/7. It was like the Party Million all over again, hundreds of players playing well above their comfort zone for sums of money that dwarf their yearly salaries. Just so exploitable.

I played 36 tournaments on Sunday, with a cumulative buy in, in excess of $6k. At noon I was in a pretty foul mood – I had done pretty poorly thus far, but there were a few tournies still going. Often people ask me 2 or 3 hours in to my schedule how I’m doing. My answers vary from “shit” to “well” but my normal answer is “meh”. Unless I’m busto in all the big ones, anything can happen. Out of nowhere I was suddenly at the final table of the Ipoker $250k and in the last 50 on the Pokerroom Champion Chip $500k. At this point you forget that you rose at 5am, and how pissed off you were two hours before.

Thoughts of an outrageous double started to run through my head, and although at the time it was still very much a long shot I definitely should have fared better on Ipoker. I got pretty lucky to amass a stack there, winning 2 races and QJ > AQ, but have a stack I did. I was 2/1 chip leader four handed and after a couple of reckless moves found myself out in 4th for $15k. Note to self: “just because the big blind is away, doesn’t mean you should shove any 2 cards when the guy second in chips opens”. (84 suited doesn’t race too well against AA.)

It’s fair to say at this point I felt pretty sick. But there was still the big one, 30 people left now, and after a flurry of OPR’ing my spirits were lifted upon seeing the majority of the players left in the field had an average buy in of under $10. Just to clarify, this was a $375 tournament, and it is a prime example of why I think most people are wasting their time playing satellites. What’s the point of satelliting into a big buy in tournament if you’re going to be scared of the pay jumps and play terribly? That’s even before you consider that the standard is often better in bigger buy in events (this tourny less so due to the sheer volume of satellites available). Of course it’s in my best interests that these satellites exist, tournament schedules flooded with low buy in turbo satellites bring the recreational players’ money to the bigger games quicker. There is an argument that in the long run it is bad for the poker economy as the better players are winning the money quicker and taking it off the poker sites, but even in the current financial state we find ourselves in, people are still playing online poker, and I don’t think they will stop anytime soon.

I digress… A couple of flips later, and a few well timed shoves I found myself on the final table bubble. The chip leader had all the chips and was wielding his stack. It made for an interesting dynamic. He was a complete donkey, but half knew what he was doing; he was putting pressure on everyone, it’s just that he didn’t know when to do it and was getting lucky from time to time.

I got dealt KK in the bb, and I was just sure he was going to double me. Then when it folded to him in the c/o he opened for 3x, this was a little bizarre as he had been shoving prior to this. When I shoved over the top he snap called with AQ, so was obviously looking for action with this smaller raise. The flop was a nightmare, containing two aces. There was a collective sigh in the room, with Shaun and Neil now gathered around my desk. With the turn came hope when a third club fell, and our shouts of “King! King!” turned to “King! Club! King or a club!!” Our shouts were answered when the King of Spades dropped on the river and a massive double fist pump followed.

The final table popped up soon after and it wasn’t long before I had a decision. 3 hands in I opened
Aqs utg. It folded to the maniac who then re-raised me, but not all in. When I raised, I had no intention of folding to this guy – it would quite simply be throwing money away if I were to raise/fold to a guy who had been shoving on people with 63o, but then he didn’t shove. I still don’t know, and will never know what he actually had that hand, but I took that new information and remembered his AQ hand and a time before it when he raised smaller with a stronger hand and decided “to wait for a better spot”. This phrase is one often used by inexperienced poker players, and is often derided (rightfully so). The majority of the time when this phrase is used, people overestimate the edge they have, they knock back favourable pot odds because they are scared of elimination. They want to move up the pay ladder, and avoid races. In this tournament, I could definitely wait for a better spot, I really felt like he was strong and knew I could exploit the other players and also have him bluff at me at the wrong time.

The next orbit I picked up KK in early and raised at his bb. He immediately shoved on me and showed J6o when I called. This was quite simply retarded on his behalf, I was never raise/folding his bb, although I guess he may have recalled the hand I folded earlier. He flopped and turned draws and a pair, so there were plenty of outs to dodge on the river, but dodge them I did.

After that I ran TT into QQ before doubling versus table dickhead again, this time unlucky to have to race with my 99 against his AT. From there I thought it would be plain sailing, but I had to have the luck of the poker gods again. 4 handed there were two limpers to me, I had A6 and jammed, the second limper thought and called AT and for a few seconds my heart was in my mouth. I then flopped a gutshot draw, and I got there on the turn. Even after this, table dickhead still had a massive chip lead, and even when I knocked out the third guy, I went to heads up as a 2.5/1 dog in chips.

He was so predictable, big bluff after big bluff. I called him down with 88 on an ace high board to gain a big pot and managed to 3 bet all in on an ace hi board with A7 after he put in half his stack – he folded.

I then took a massive chip lead when I raised AJ in the sb and flopped trips. After he checked behind me on the flop, I checked a second time when a second club fell on the turn. He fired for pot as was his way. There was no point in me raising at this point, he couldn’t call with anything, sure I might let him catch a flush draw, but if I did, I did. The river bricked, and I checked for a third time. There it came, the shove, (snap call, hi five monitor) as he turns over the busted flush draw.

I doubled him once, K6 < A5 then it came, AA on the button, stacks 3.3m vs 1m. I bumped it to 100k, and couldn’t click call quickly enough when he jammed. My hands were already in the air, and shouts of “hold” erupted in the house. Those shouts faded as he flopped a pair and a gutshot draw, I can’t recall what turned, but his percentage remained unchanged at about 30%, then there it was – the straight on the river. The jubilation was gone, and was replaced by silence, and in one of the most surreal moments of my life I got dealt AK the next hand. No time had passed for me to process what had just happened, I was still in shock as I realised he had moved all in again! Witness reports suggest my hands were shaking as I hurried to click the call button for the 2nd time in two hands. “What’s he got, what’s he got?” I started to wonder. A9o was the answer. Once again, the joy of being a 70% favourite to win $117k was dampened, he held the Ace of clubs, and as the Pokerroom RNG would have it, 3 clubs would flop. I was now only 55%, and after the emotion of losing the previous hand it felt like 5%.

Turn Kd

“NO CLUB!”

River 3s

(Black card scared us for a second then….)
“Yessssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fcking get in!!”
“Shipppppppppp iiiiiiiitttttttt!!!”
“Sambaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Why can’t all Sundays be like that?